September 30th, 1979. The first day I learned my father could make mistakes. He cut off the end of his finger with a hedge trimmer, in a mishap that would immediately thereafter be referred to as “The Hedge Trimmer Incident.” I wish I could say that we laugh about it, but since my father has no sense of humor about himself, it’s only mentioned in hushed tones.
Oct
06
Today in Turbosweet History
Oct
06
Turbo Sweet Graffiti
I work in the movie business. The crappy side. The side that does the heavy lifting. And if you work in the movie business on the East Coast, you’ve seen this before. It’s Nalga. Nalga is everywhere. This picture was taken inside of the filthiest Port-o-John in the world.
Oct
06
Thanks!
Hello. Every moment of your life has led you here. I am Turbo Sweet, and you can be, too. What’s Turbo Sweet, you ask? That is an excellent question. Turbo Sweet is the best of all things. It’s spotting a famous person, and instead of acting like you’ve got a head full of snakes when they look back at you, simply nodding to them, because you’re Turbo Sweet. Turbo Sweet is not having a tribal armband tattoo. Turbo Sweet is the panda. (The most Turbo Sweet of all creatures.)
But by now you’re probably asking yourself, what makes me the expert in all things Turbo Sweet? Simple. When your forefathers crawled up onto this land and killed or eradicated it’s indigenous people, they wanted something better. Something grander. Something Turbo Sweet. I have lead my life cataloguing Turbo Sweet-ness. When I can, I try to perform Turbo Sweet acts. I have operated a flame-thrower. I have jumped out of an airplane. I have saved a man’s life. I have pet a panda. All of these things are Turbo Sweet.
The picture above was taken in front of the BP station near my house. The next day I walked in, and the welcome mat was gone. I’m glad I took the picture. That was very Turbo Sweet of me. I plan on cataloguing all things Turbo Sweet, at least once a day. I can’t guarantee anything, but that’s the plan. I’ll also be telling you my plans for world domination through comedy. There will be tour dates, and there’s even a shopping cart, so you can purchase goods that are just as Turbo Sweet as I am.
So, like the little non-descript ethnicity in the picture states, thanks for visiting. See you tomorrow.
Sean Keenan (From Turbo Sweet Castle)
Aug
21
Hello world!
Welcome to the wonderful world of Turbosweet! We’ll be up and running very soon, so please check back for all new content!